"That's not a real job"

I've run into this statement a lot during my (relatively short) life. The most recent was from my (recently) ex-boyfriend. But, lets be honest, a lot of it was in my head too (which probably explains why I was willing to date someone that thought the same way. But that's another topic.)

A lot of American Culture is all about Consumerism. Capitalism. The progress ladder, the office environment, business dress, getting ahead, selling out, staying in line, working the 9 - 5 from 18 to 55 and then retiring. Except, the world of guaranteed pensions is going out the window, maybe even employer-contributed 401k's too, and people are working long past their intended retirement ages.

And to be honest, I don't want that world. Not surprisingly, having a creative mind has some drawbacks when trying to fit into the uniform of the 9-5'er mold. And I know myself well enough to know that I would never really be happy there anyway. So it's a surprise when a lot of the voices repeating the "you can't make that a real job" phrase, have been my own.

But it's just as realistic to say that "American Culture" does not foster the sort of outlook required for stepping to your own drum and blazing your own path, despite all of the claims to the contrary and the pervasiveness of the American Dream and it's romantic notions of entrepreneurial-ism. Schools don't teach kids to think outside the box, and with the pressure of standardized testing breathing down their backs, teachers often times fall short of even teaching such mandatory skills as critical thinking.

So where does that leave me? Fearful of progressing faster than a snail in winter, sometimes, always with an eye over my shoulder of other possible career paths, "just in case" this one doesn't work out.

I would love nothing more than to quit my day job and devote all of my waking hours to working in the studio, or to abandon all attempts at fiscal responsibility and spend my entire savings on outfitting my own studio. Instead, I'm devoting most of my waking hours to mostly "pulling through" at my current job, so I actually have food in my belly and gas in my car, and squeezing in as many hours in the school ceramics studio as I can. Luckily for me, Montgomery College allows me to use the fascilities as much as I want, even outside of scheduled class time.

And really, my current job is not so bad. It's still in the Art industry, in a way. I am surrounded by art everyday, in the paintings and prints that are for sale, and I get to regularly work in design with every customer that comes in asking to get something framed. But it's still not my optimum working environment.. I don't know that I can really be my "best" here, because my best doesn't fit in this environment. My best isn't in 'retail,' and it certainly isn't in 'sales,' in the same way that it wasn't in the white-collar office environment.

So, the progress may be slow, but I know I have to pursue it. And with any luck, the road less traveled, will have lots of Trees to inspire me.

In dedication to my 2nd grade art teacher, 5th and 9th grade english teachers, scores of frustrated math teachers, and the team of super-dedicated Fine Arts teachers at Blake High School:

The Road Not Taken

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

~ Robert Frost, (1874–1963).